” Love Hate Relationship “ What is this term? Does it even mean anything? Does it even exist?
Let’s answer these questions first.
Love Hate Relationship is defined as:
“A love hate relationship is an interpersonal relationship involving at the same time or changing emotions of love and hate. Both the partner do not exactly know what they are love or hate each other. There is a conflict between their emotions. At one time they are very loving and showing intense feelings of love while after some time they turned into a hated relationship.
This definition gives us an understanding of this term and its meaning.
Love hate relationship-does it exists or it’s just a myth?
If we see deeply into the relationship cycle, there is a love hate relationship in every relationship we have around us. whether its blood relation or the other relations we make up in our life span. Love hate relationship prevails in them all.
We one time or another develop this feeling about our loved once that we don’t like them, this could purely be out of anger or something they said to you or denied to give you. As a reaction of rejection and denial of accepting your that particular wish, we develop this sense of anger where we have the feeling of hate for them as well.
Factors involved in love hate relationship
Today we will be focused on the Intimate relationship.
When a couple has a love hate relationship. What are the factors involved in having this feeling against one another?
1. A Continuous struggle between make-up and break-up
Having a girlfriend/boyfriend is so common nowadays. With the passage of time, the value of relationship has come to a level whereupon a little argument we jump up to the conclusion to end the relationship. The worth or respect of relationship has lowered to such level that break-ups have become so common act.
To work upon a relationship is not much appreciated, Who put so much effort when there is an easy way out called break-up? and when you miss your partner and start to feel broke, you ask them to make-up again. this goes on and on until you get settled with each other, or with someone else.
2. The fear of not having a long-term relationship
Loving someone is natural. You love someone so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. You already have developed a picture in your mind of you both living together happily ever after. But there is this constant fear that what if you two do not get together?
what if the circumstances do not work in your favor? what if your parents or your partner’s parents disagree with your relationship? Or what If you both breaks-up…
These questions bring fears or make you hate the fact that you don’t know about what is going to happen in the future. Would it be as you have thought of or is it going to fall apart?
3. Lack of Deep Understanding
You and your partner love each other, everything is perfect. Unless you jump onto some points where either you or your partner just couldn’t agree on something. Sometimes you are low, you are having some rough patch in your life because of which you couldn’t give time to your partner. e.g. family problems, office workload, some health issues, etc.
In this situation instead of understanding you and your state of mind, your partner starts fighting with you. or even wants to break-up with you because of your changed behavior. This means they are not connected to you deeply and are not ready to be with you through thick or thin. This is the time where you should realize that whether to keep going with such a person or to say goodbye.
4. Different behaviors
Different behavior. You or your partner either one could have different behaviors at different places. Let me explain to you how.
You and your partner are so much in love, you both cuddle, share food, watch movies together, talk to each other openly, laugh together are perfect sweet couple WHEN AT HOME. The minute you go out, the behavior changes. Don’t talk openly, NO WAIT.. doesn’t even talk.
No laughs, no food sharing, no cuddles. They behave as if you are strangers. These type of people does not feel comfortable to some love in front of the world but makes the other partner so uncomfortable by their behavior because it looks like there is no love in between the couple.
A bad sign in a relationship
This is also the other way round. Just reverse all the things. They do cuddle, share, laugh in front of others but when are alone, they don’t even talk properly. And this is the bad sign. This way could be alarming, This shows that they want to show the world how loving and caring they are but in reality, it’s the opposite.
There should always be a balance when it comes to showing your love to the world. Only weighing on one side would not work for a longer time. So, try to avoid different behaviors at a 90-degree angle.
- Motivation is defined by psychologists as
- Happiness is only real when shared
- If you can dream it you can do it
5. To move on without resolving the problems
Love Hate relationship go hand in hand. With the passage of time, you get to know how strong or weak your relationship is. One mistake that couples do and which leads that towards this love-hate battle is not to resolve the issues/ problems in time.
in a relationship, you have ups and downs but to be unaffected by these roller coasters we have to start talking. By Talking It doesn’t mean the casual talk, but to have to really talk. Discuss out when you have something in your mind that is bothering you. Have discussions, have arguments.
This will sort out the issues and will help you to move on in the relationship. Avoiding an issue or keeping it un-resolved never leads to a happy, healthy relationship. That thing will always keep on bothering you unless or until you will have an explanation for it. So, It’s important to have clarity of misunderstandings or un-resolved problems for a relationship to work
6. You unlike certain things about your partner
No one is perfect. You have heard this a lot and everywhere. This is as real as it sounds. Every human being has some flaws accompanying their qualities. We like someone for their loving nature, caring attitude, their loyalty but there comes a fact that they are never on time. Boom!
Everything is ruined
Their loving, caring attitude their loyalty becomes secondary to the fact that they are always late, which means they are lazy. Which means you hate them at times. Humans are so ungrateful that they can forget a thousand good things about a person over one bad thing. You make efforts to keep your partner happy all day long and at the end of the day you just do something wrong and baaam.. there you go. Everything’s in the trash.
You have a partner. But wait you have friends as well with you share everything. By everything, I meant EVERY bit of your life happenings. Your partner told you some secret and wanted you to keep it a SECRET. But how it was possible not to share it with my friends. Right.?
There!! exactly THERE is where you develop hate and anger feelings in your partner’s heart.
8. The doors always open
Having a relationship where you are an option, can turn that relationship into a bitter one in no time. Nowadays being in connect with more than one person has become a ritual. “I love you, You are the one and only” *sending this text to 5 girls/boys*. Aww… How pure is your love?
Loyalty brings life to a relationship. But the new generation looks for time pass first, then they see if to take it to a serious level or not. the doors are always open for the new one to come. This makes it easier to make one love relationship into hate relationship over just a little fight.
9. The feeling of satisfaction, once it’s over
Feeling of satisfaction, once it’s over. What’s over? Either the relationship or the feeling of hatred.
It again depends on the couple that how strong their relationship is, because if it will be strong then it will pass through the thick and thin.
If it will be weak then hardships or feelings of hatred will take away you as well. It’s up to you how and where you want to take the relationship. As feelings of love and hate for the same person go hands in hands. You cannot separate them.
Love hate relationship is not new, but its portray and uses has changed with time. To fight all the odds attached with “love and hate” in the relationship leads to a healthy, satisfactory life. And If we don’t learn to fight the odds in a relationship then our chances of defeat will always be high.
“All it asks from you is to hold a little tighter. and you will pass the wind successfully. ” There is a message for those who understand.