It is a common feeling that every child/ teenager ever feels that “My Parents hate me” Then they ask “why” do my parents hate me.
Parents are the blessing from God that no one can deny. But sometimes they stop their children from doing something or force them to do some task for the sake of the child’s betterment but the kids do not understand it’s the purpose at that very time. and they start to think that their parents hate them.
CAUSES WHY DO MY PARENTS HATE ME
What are the factors which force a kid to think that “My parents hate me” Today we will discuss those points? There may be many misunderstandings that spoil the very beautiful relationship between parents and children. There are many aspects to it. Some mistakes are from parents and other blunders can be from kids. I tried my best to point out all the factors behind why do my parents hate me.
1: PARENTS ARE STICK TO THEIR VALUE SYSTEM
Parents as a family try to develop a certain value system in the home which their elders had. They believe that the values of their forefathers that they followed when they were young, now should also be followed by their children. They don’t understand that with time the value system also evolves and we should also adopt the new changed values. To force children to follow that same old value system will make them old fashioned and they will feel ashamed in front of their friends.
2: ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE PRESSURE
The pressure of Academic performance is something that a kid already feels a lot. Their teachers, monthly tests, assignments, and projects already put quite a pressure on the kids. When the parents bound their expectations from their children to score the highest and they build pressure over them then kids become frustrated.
Not every kid is made to score the first position or not everyone is exceptional in all subjects. This pressure and high expectations from the parents make a kid extremely hassled and sometimes leads towards suicidal attempts.
3: PARENTS DON’T CARE FEELINGS OF KIDS
They just don’t realize. Here they are referred to as parents. There are some parents who are just like parents. Sometimes children try to find a friend in their parents so they can share the things that they cannot share with anyone else. There are thousands to things, secrets, worries that a kid wants to share with his/her parents/or one parent.
But if they don’t share such a relationship with parents than this thing makes them frustrated and stressed. When kids see their friend’s parents being friendly and understanding then this makes them think that maybe my parents hate me, that’s why they don’t become friends with me.
Punishment is the one most cunning and disliked act of parents by kids. Those parents who punish their kids more often are more prone to their continued negative behavior or act. When a kid is being punished he/she is the most vulnerable in that situation to think s if their parents hate them. Despite realizing their own actions because of which they got punished, they blame their parents for being hurtful.
Parents 90% of the time punish their children for the child’s own good. but only 10% of the kids understand this thing at that moment. Kids become so much angry that they start to believe that my parents hate me and I am not valuable them anymore etc. Such thoughts make a child more stubborn.
5: ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR OF PARENTS
Parents sometimes don’t realize that their words are destroying the child’s personality. We as a person sometimes don’t know how hurtful our words are for the others to listen and how deeply it affects them. If these words like ” Stupid, useless, you are worthless, etc. These words or phrases harms one’s self-esteem and shatter their confidence. They get so much affected that I literally feel that I am not needed by my parents anymore and wants to die or to leave the home.
6: DON’T TO LET ME GO WITH FRIENDS
Parents put restrictions on their children out of care and safety purposes. But children feel as if they are being kept in jail. Kids want to go out with their friends to have lunch, dinner or to some birthday party, etc. But some parents are too protective of their kids. They just don’t let their kids meet their friends outside school.
When kids see that all my friends are out there partying and I am sitting here at home alone. It makes them feel that their parents just don’t love them as my friends’ parents love them.
7:LOVE MY SIBLINGS MORE THAN ME
A common problem of every family. My parents love my siblings more than me. The funny part it every child in the family thinks like this for the other sibling. Sometimes parents unintentionally favor one child over the other on some concrete basis. This creates an unwanted fight between the siblings and the deprived one feels that parents don’t love him/her. This is a common practice that is found in almost every home.
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HOW WE CAN MAKE BETTER RELATIONSHIP AMONG PARENT AND CHILD
The parent-child relationship is always two-sided. Parents and children mutualy do efforts to make this relationship strong and loving. There must be counseling between both parties to sort out the problems. They should sit and talk on every aspect that they are facing.
Parents must spend more time with their kids and build a trustful relationship with children. On the other hand, there are some responsibilities for children. Children should respect and obey their parents. They should discuss every matter with their parents and take permission while doing anything.
There are some tips or ways for both parents and children to make betterment in their relationship.
SUGGESTIONS FOR CHILDREN TO MAKE BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS
Now let’s see what a kid should do to sort out whether it’s him/her who is wrong or it’s the parents.
BE LOGICAL ABOUT ASSUMING YOUR PARENTS
Ok, let’s start to find out whether it’s you or your parents who are wrong.
Always try to be logical while solving a case. emotional thoughts are always making you think biased. Unbiased decisions are formed on the logic. So try to find the logic behind the certain behavior of your parents that made you think that they hate you.
SHARE WITH FRIENDS
Share with friends what bothers you. There is a fair chance that your friend will tell you that this thing also happened to him/her. His/her parents also did the same thing with him/her. This will make you realize that this is not that strange that your parents stopped you from getting/ doing something. All Parents have the same approach.
ANALYZE YOUR BEHAVIOR
Analyze the facts. Look into depth. Your parents were angry with you and you just started to feel that they don’t love you anymore. Did you at once tried to figure out if you did something wrong or you are the one who hurt them? Did you ever try to figure out the situation based on facts? this will really help you realize if it’s you or your parents who are wrong.
TALK TO PARENTS
The best approach one could adopt is to talk with the parents. Tell them what you felt wrong or what hurt you. There is a chance that when they tell you their side of the story then you come to know something you were not even noticing. Or they are not angry with you at all and you just felt it.
Maybe they are stressed out or worried about something else and you kept on feeling as if it’s you. So talking bits of help. It helps to break the silence and make everyone realize that the other was getting affected by their behavior.
REMEMBER SACRIFICES OF YOUR PARENTS
Remember that time when you were a baby and you didn’t eat or even sit without your mother. Your parents brought you up, feed you and send you school. Your father works hard to fulfill your needs and your mother works at home and takes good care of you. Now it’s your turn to take care of your parents. Every kid should be humble and respectful with parents.
LOOK AT YOUR PAST ATTITUDES
Sometimes your parents are angry with you and show their anger. But do not mention why they actually are upset with you. In that situation try to look into the past events. If you did something wrong and you hide that thing in the fear of getting caught and now your parents know that. So try to look into previous happenings as well.
MUST BE AGREE WITH PARENT’S DECISIONS
Kids no matter what age, always need their parents. Parents are the most crucial and important part of everyone’s life. There comes a time when every person on earth feels that their parents hate them or are being unfair to them. But it is also a fact that parents always take any decision by thinking of their child’s betterment. No matter how bitterly bad it seems at that time but later in life, you surely realize the true essence of that decision.
SHOW LOVE AND AFFECTION WITH PARENTS
Parents are a big blessing of God on earth. We always show love and affection towards our parents. Always respect your parents. Never shout at your parents. Mother is the symbol of love and sacrifice, so never dishearten your parents. If your Parents are harsh and rude then bear with them. Because after all they are your parents and from the inner core of the heart they love. Their outer behavior may be rude but inside they are full of love.
SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS TO MAKE RELATIONSHIP BATTER
- Parents should be flexible and should adopt the change with time.
- Parents should be aware of their child’s IQ level and child’s mental capability.
- To expect more than a child’s capabilities put them into a situation where they start to feel that my parents hate me.
- Parents must share a friendly relation with their children. It’s not necessary for both the parents to be very friendly but one must be.
- Children need to share plenty of things with their parents so always be there for them.
- Parents should also take this thing into consideration that punishing a child excessively will make them stubborn and they will stop listening to them.
- Always be very careful while choosing your words in front of your children and for others as well. Words causes hurt more than a physical injury.
- Restrictions are fine but over restrictions make your child take the alternative ways which are harmful, unethical and sometimes unlawful.
- So, It’s ok to give a bit of liberty to your kids. This will make them realize that they are being trusted by their parents.
- They will try not to cross any set limits.
It’s natural to have such feeling that “my parents hate me” but it is also necessary to figure out the way out by yourself from this very feeling. In this article, both perspectives are covered. Factors that make you feel that your parents hate you and how to figure out if what you think is right or wrong.